Well, I think we can do that. Everybody ready for a story?
Yes Yes Tell us!
Once upon a time there was a woodcutter and his wife, who lived deep in the forest...
That's a woodcutter?
Yes, that's the woodcutter and his wife. They do, um, teak or something. Very nice wood.
Ahem, the woodcutter had cut down all the nice teak trees until there weren't any left, and with the global economic crisis and all, their investments tanked and they just couldn't make ends meet. So they decided to get rid of the kids, where were eating them out of house and home anyway. Hey, kids, lets go for a walk in the woods.
I thought there weren't any woods left. There was woods left, but they were just regular trees, all twisted and gnarly. Nobody wanted to buy them.
So they went for a walk in the woods, and late in the afternoon the woodcutter told them to stay put while he went and got them something to eat.
Mmmm I can hardly wait to eat, Greta.
Harold, I'm famished. When's Dad coming back? Is he bringing steaks?
But they waited and waited and the woodcutter didn't come back. Suddenly, a giant ogre appeared.
HO HO! What have we here! A couple of tender morsels for my stew! The ogre swept up Harold and Greta and stuffed them in his sack. Back in the ogre lair, he threw them into the stewpot, where other terrified victims were already floating. As the meaty ogre turned his back to start a fresh green salad to go with his stew, Harold and Greta leapt out of the pot. They leapt onto the ogre and devoured him right down to the bones. Temporarily full, they let the grateful captives go.
Thank you! Thank you!
Oh! Why yes you are, my darlings.
Are you sure?
Is it our turn for dinner?
Now we are free from that digusting ogre, we can get on with our nefarious plans!
Yes! We will rule the world!