Flat Stanley, part 1

What's this, Britta?

Hmmm, "Flat Stanley". A stagiaire of some sort, Maurice.

Okay; let's show him around.

Look, Astrid: it's Flat Stanley!

Quiet chap, isn't he?

And why's he all plain? A nudist?

Maybe it's a superhero!

Yeah - the Flat Ghost.

If it's a superhero, let's give it the Super Strength Test. erfff! It's making noise!
But it's not moving the brick. What kind of superhero can't get out from under a brick?

There are many sorts of super powers. Not all of them involve moving bricks. I, for example, can fly.
pfff!
>snerk< yes, Maurice, we've seen you "fly"...
But look, he's completely unscathed. Not a dent.
Ahaaaa.... Total brick resistance! Held down, but not harmed in any way.
Let's give him the setting on fire test!
Yeah!!! No, come on guys, it's just a regular Flat Stanley. With a rugby uniform on, that's a lot better.
Yellow and Blue for the ASM!
Rugby is a team sport appreciated all over Western Europe and in the Commonwealth. It's the precursor of American football, and is classically played 15 players on each side, for two halves of 40 minutes each.
Play is pretty much continuous, stopping only for serious injuries, penalties, and after a score. Touching the ball down across the goal line is called a "try" and is worth 5 points. The team scoring a try gets to kick the ball between the uprights for an additional 2 points. At any time during play, a player can attempt a kick through the uprights: this is called a "drop" and is worth 3 points. Penalty kicks are also worth 3 points.
Rugby is a very fast-moving and physical game. Only the player with the ball may be tackled, and thus when he's about to be tackled, he often makes a lateral pass to a teammate. This passing prowess led our local rugby team, the ASM, to the national championship last year.
There are several international tournaments. Every year the 6-Nations tournament is held between France, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and Italy. England, Scotland and Wales are all now part of the same country, the United Kingdom, but in rugby they have their own national teams and play their own national anthems and fly their own flags. Ireland is now divided into two countries, the Republic of Ireland, and six counties in Northern Ireland belonging to the United Kingdom. The Ireland team, however, is composed of Irish citizens from all parts of Ireland. This year's tournament was won by England.
Every four years there is a World Cup Rugby tournament. This is a tournament year, and it is being hosted by one of the greatest rugby nations: New Zealand. Alrighthen, let's play a little rugby: you rats Laars, Ingmar, Bjorn and Britta; against me, Stan, Astrid, and the chicken. Scrum!!!

Ingmar is breaking away with the ball!

Get him, Stan!

Oof.

And Stan scores!

Hooray for Flat Stanley!

.

6-Nations, week 3

Here we are, all set for a Stunning Saturday of Rugby! I'm rooting for Italy still. They have the best food.
Italy, Schmitaly. They don't ever win at this game.
They beat Canada.

Luxembourg could beat the Canada at rugby.

They beat, who was it, Romania!

U-huh. Like Romania really plays rugby either.

Look! Look! They're winning! They got a goal vs Wales!

Wha?
What?

Oh.
Well, they got the one goal. That was fun.

And then they were thrown to the ground.

And outrun.

And outtackled.

And thrown to the ground some more.Let's put this debacle behind us and watch France vs England. Now there's rugby!

Oh no! England scores again.
Doh.
Rougerie fumbles in the end zone!

Awwwww.
That's it. We lost.
Let's watch something better.

Yeah! That's more like it.
You do realise this is not a French, or even Italian show...
Who cares? It's Doctor Who!
.

England vs Italy

Here we are, ready for the match.

England vs Italy in the 6-Nations tournament. Let's root for Italy.
Why?
They've got better food.
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Hey, there's that English guy hurling himself at the end zone. Again.

That's what, the third time?

When does Italy get to do that?

Well that was the first half.
Are you sure we're rooting for the right team?
Of course we are! You wouldn't cheer for guys who eat Marmite, would you?

Er...

And mushy peas!
Er, well, mushy peas are a definite argument against. But...

Let's wait for the second half. Now that Italy knows all of England's tricks, they'll come out and win the game. I'm sure of it.

I thought Italy was going to come out and win.
There's that English guy crossing the goal line again!

Why are you wearing a paper clip on your nose, Laars?
It hurts. It helps me understand Italy.
Is one paper clip enough?

That's more like it.

Spaghetti, Lasagne!

Cannoli, Gelato!

Cappucino!
Go Italy!!!

Ow.
Yikes.

It hurts!
Make them stop!

That's it. Game over.
Thank goodness.
I'm rooting for England next time; they have, um, what do they have...
A good rugby team.
.

15 to 32

I know you have seen this picture. It's just that the one of me attempting to have fun bowling and instead being crushed under a 16-pound bowling ball seems to have been lost. But you get the idea of my pain at the end of the Clermont ASM vs Sale Sharks game on Saturday. Aïe! At the end there the English were pounding us into the dirt. The score would have been way worse if they only had a decent placekicker.